Mentoring Takes Skill
“ I don’t know how to mentor a Black woman”
This is how it started, yet again. I was reminded that I would always be seen as a Black woman, none of my other identities as a scientist, American, even a woman mattered. I was sitting across from my supervisor during one of our weekly meetings. I cannot recall why or what prompted the conversation to turn to my race, but it did. In a way this person was right, they would struggle to mentor me if they were not familiar with the difficulties I faced on a daily basis, both professionally and socially simply, because I am Black and I got the impression they were unlikely to listen and learn. At the time I was somewhat shocked, but not surprised, and decided to turn the conversation to another topic. This happened pre-COVID and I was slowly beginning to realize that to some, no matter what I did I would always be, “a black”. As has been the case for most of my academic career, departments, advisors and colleagues would pick and choose when to use my “blackness”.
At the time I struggled to compartmentalize my “blackness” in a way that higher education has historically deemed OK. Now, I realize this is an impossible task, and to be quite frank there are aspects of what some would consider my “blackness” that I enjoy and want to express at work. To have a successful mentor-mentee relationship, my mentor would have to respect that. This is easier said than done especially when there is a lack of representation at the professor level. To date, most of my mentors have been white. They have ranged in the quality of mentorship and I have had to learn and adapt, a skill that has helped me throughout my whole life. The most meaningful mentor relationships forged take time, and I have taken some time below to outline some of the strong qualities needed to successfully mentor me, a Black Woman.
Educate Yourself
To truly have a meaningful mentor-mentee relationship with a POC, you must understand the hurdles they have had to overcome. Irrespective of class, there are a number of experiences people of color share. From being mistaken for a member of the custodial staff, to having students call you out of your name, these encounters work to remind POC that they are not supposed to be where they are. An educated mentor, however, knows the exclusionary practices POC experience and works on a personal and professional level to stop perpetuating this culture in their workplace. They attend workshops and talks focused on the retention of POC in their field, and put the tools learned into practice. A good mentor is soberingly aware of the data surrounding POC in higher education and works with their mentees of color to make sure they do not just become a statistic. In many ways, to establish a strong mentor-mentee relationship with a POC, one must be an ally.
Listening is a Skill
Like many strong relationships, mentorship starts with listening. This is the foundation of all interpersonal interactions, but unfortunately for many mentor-mentee relationships I have had, listening was left on the backburner. The reasons for this in my case are two-fold. First, I will not truly open up if I am not comfortable. A lot of the onus for creating a safe space in my opinion falls on the mentor. If a mentor is truly invested in assisting a mentee, then they must take the time to get to know them and understand the vision they have for their life. Secondly, a mentor must take the time to respect that their path to success is not the only one. When a mentor gets caught up in duplicating their journey of success on a mentee, it becomes difficult for them to truly listen to the wants and concerns of a mentee. For me, I begin to shut down because it dampens my own journey, and there is an unspoken idea that I must acquiesce to a system which we all know is racist.
Don’t Try and Save Me
There is a strong sentiment among many academics I have met that students, especially Black and Brown students need to be saved. This type of thinking is dangerous, because it puts the burden on students to conform to a racist system. It also sets up a white savior scenario. A white savior believes with their guidance they will mold a student of color into their version of a scientist. The problem with this type of ideology is that most versions of a scientist are riddled with racism and anti-blackness. It fails to identify the systematic ways in which science and higher education has excluded POC. Instead of creating meaningful changes and dismantling a racist culture, a white savior wants to change the student. To me this is synonymous to putting a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound. It does not fix the problem and does not help to educate future scientists. A strong mentor utilizes their position to assist students in developing their professional aspirations.