School has always been my refuge. It was a place I could rely on, with activities I excelled in, and people I enjoyed. At some point, being a student became my primary identity and contributed more to my self-concept than any other domain. I had other interests, of course, but being a good student was the one that I was depending on to get me into and pay for college, it kept me out of trouble, and paid my bills. By the time I made it to the University of California - Davis, I had been a student, non-stop, for twenty years. Perhaps it was the cumulative effects of prioritizing academia almost exclusively for two decades, but I found myself drained, frustrated, and at the precipice of burnout when someone told me, in passing, “Allie, you’re more than a student.”

I know that not everyone needs it revealed to them that “being a student” is only one aspect of their identity, but I did. I let my body relax with relief after hearing that statement. For me, it was like I was given the permission I needed to move out of Davis and create a separation between myself and the university. I am adamant that no one needs outside permission to do what is best for themself, but sometimes outside affirmations catalyze inner-authority. Graduate school can be all encompassing, but I decided to treat it as much as a 9-5 as possible. For me, that meant I needed a longer commute so that I could have some separation between work and home. I moved to Sacramento, went shopping at stores with more diverse patrons, and relaxed in spaces that weren’t on campus. I eventually started taking Muay Thai classes at a nearby gym and created a life that allowed my other interests to flourish.

For anyone who needs to hear it, consider this your reminder: You are more than a student. If you needed permission to prioritize your movie watching, tabloid reading, star-gazing, exercising, or any other interest that you may have - here it is. Schedule time to explore. You don’t necessarily have to move to another city to make sure you’re catering to your full self. If you’re stuck on campus or in close proximity to campus, take advantage of the resources the university has to offer. At one point, I was learning about zentangle and taking a heels class. Although they were on campus activities, I was able to meet people outside of my program and some people who weren’t students at all.

Honestly, there are many ways to explore your interests and my way worked for me, but there are ways that may work for you and your specific needs. I am not telling you what to do, I am simply saying that grad school can take-over. It can be easy to spend hours in class, then hours studying and doing homework, then hours conceiving and planning your research project, then hours socializing with colleagues, and then hours neglecting your spark. If you were like me and had most of your self-worth tied to your role as a “good student,” then it’s even more important for you to make space for your full self to thrive because you are more than a student.