Y’all swim?

You can swim?

You get your hair wet?

Do you have a bathing suit?

***what I hear*** (YOU DON’T BELONG HERE).

These are some of the responses I get when I tell people I’m a marine scientist. It’s the shock effect I guess, based on the stereotype that Black people don’t swim. And since we don’t swim, we definitely can’t be marine scientists (not true). But since there is this overall stereotype the number of Black people in marine science is significantly lower than other STEM fields with less than 2% of PhD’s awarded to Black people in ocean sciences. Of course, there are Black marine scientists at numerous different levels (and hopefully #BlackInMarineScienceWeek has shown the world that), but as a Black scientist with a PhD this statistic can cause an overall lonely experience. 

I remember being on a conference planning committee thinking of speakers to bring in and I found myself wracking my brain trying to think of more Black people to suggest. I was so embarrassed when all heads slowly turned to me to ask my input, but I had little to say. I was mad I didn’t have more to suggest and begin to think more about where were all the Black people! It’s funny because I attended an HBCU with a marine science department, but we only had one Black professor and my actual advisor was white (although a true ally). So, at the time I had only met one professor level Black marine scientist and the rest were my peers. I had also seen a few senior Black people at conferences but hadn’t had much interaction, so at this point I was used to being the only Black person in the room at science events. What became interesting to me is that even though there was an increase in diversity initiatives and trainings my experiences weren’t getting better and to be honest as I advanced, they got worst. 

I remember being on another conference planning committee and a white colleague passed me their PC to look at something and made the comment, “make sure I get it back!” which made me feel super awkward like what did she think I was going to steal, like sis? So of course, I shot back, “don’t worry I’m not gonna steal your laptop” which prompted the immediate, “OMG I DID NOT MEAN THATTTTTT!” I tried to make a joke of it and move on, but I’ll admit the energy in the room shifted. It was a long day of meetings so we eventually moved on or so I thought until she approached me at dinner. “You only get to say what you want because you are Black, how good is that for you?” I honestly didn’t even know what she meant but was more shocked that she said it. We then joined the rest of the group for drinks.

I wondered what it would look like if I wasn’t always the only Black person in the room. Would I be taken care of, would I be advocated for, would I be advanced, would I be hyped up, would I be seen. Would the aggressive behavior directed toward me be called out? Would the aggressive behavior directed toward me STOP? Would I finally be able to just be a scientist? And to be honest, I believe the answer is YES. For some reason our presence can make people uncomfortable and it’s time for that to stop. We belong here. We are competent and innovative, and our contributions are going to change the world. We want to create a space where we all can thrive. So, you’re either riding this wave or you’re getting washed up.